Blog Post

Getting over narcissistic abuse can be a long and confusing process, with times when you feel alone and tired. A lot of people who have been abused by narcissists wonder, "Why do I still feel broken, even though I'm finally free?" It's a normal and understandable question, but here's something important that needs to be said clearly: You're not broken.

Narcissistic abuse hurts you in more ways than one. It slowly takes away your confidence, sense of self, and emotional health. Survivors often have a hard time reconnecting with their feelings, sense of safety, and self-worth long after the relationship ends. The good news is that this confusion is normal and a part of the healing process.

The confusion, tiredness, and loneliness that come with healing

If you've been in a narcissistic relationship for a long time, you might start to doubt what you think you know about reality. Narcissistic abusers are experts at gaslighting, manipulation, and controlling your emotions. This makes you doubt your own feelings, experiences, and even your memories.

Because of this, the road to recovery can be very confusing. You might feel emotionally drained from always fighting off guilt, anxiety, and self-doubt. Even after the relationship ends, the scars of manipulation can still be there, making you feel tired and unsure of what to do next.

This healing process often makes people feel lonely. Even when they are with friends and family, people who have been narcissistically abused may feel like no one really gets what they went through. Emotional manipulation can make you feel alone for a long time after the relationship is over.

The Feeling of Being Broken (And Why It's Not Your Fault)

After being abused by a narcissist, it's normal to feel broken or like something is wrong with you at your core. But the truth is that you are not broken; you are getting better.

People who have been abused by a narcissist often feel like they are to blame for what happened, as if they could have done something to stop it or that they were somehow responsible for how they were treated. It's important to know that this is a wrong idea. Narcissistic abuse is a planned effort to lower your self-esteem, make you question yourself, and make you feel less valuable. It's not your fault that you were abused.

You feel broken because of the deep emotional and mental scars that the abuse left on you. It will take time to heal. But every step you take to get better brings you closer to getting back to who you are.

Why it can be hard to heal after being abused by a narcissist

It can be very hard to heal from narcissistic abuse because emotional wounds don't always follow a straight line. Emotional scars from narcissistic abuse don't always go away, even when you think you're doing better. This is different from physical injuries that might heal over time. Some days you might feel strong, proud of how far you've come, and in charge of your life. Other days, you might feel overwhelmed, anxious, or numb.

Some common signs that survivors have during the healing process are:

Self-doubt: You might still doubt your choices and wonder if you're doing the right thing, even after making healthy ones.

Guilt: Survivors often feel guilty for putting themselves first because narcissistic abuse teaches you to put other people's needs before your own.

Emotional numbness: You might feel like you're not feeling anything at all, or you might feel like you're not feeling anything at all for a while, then all of a sudden, you feel a lot of emotions.

Overwhelmed: After being manipulated and emotionally abused, even simple tasks or conversations can feel like too much.

This doesn't mean you're weak. It's normal for your body to react this way as your nervous system learns to feel safe again and deal with the trauma.

Healing Is Not a Race: Every Day Is Different

You need to know that healing isn't a race and it doesn't happen quickly. There is no magic button that will fix everything, and trying to speed things up will only make you angry.

Some days, getting better may look like moving forward. You will feel strong, like you are making progress, and proud of how far you have come. Resting may be what healing looks like on some days. It could mean letting yourself feel your feelings without judging them or taking a break to get your strength back.

The healing process includes both rest and progress. No matter how long it takes, you are not behind in your journey. Every little thing you do is a step toward healing.

The Importance of Daily Affirmations and Gentle Support

Gentle support is very important during the healing process. Narcissistic abuse teaches you to hide your feelings and doubts, so it's important to bring back positive, caring affirmations into your life.

Affirmations that are small and regular can help you rebuild:

Trusting yourself: To learn to trust yourself again, you need to accept your feelings and meet your own needs.

Emotional safety: Make a safe place for yourself where you can deal with your feelings without worrying about being judged or used.

A feeling of being supported: Be around people who are kind and understanding, and let them remind you that you are deserving of love and respect.

You don't have to be strong every day to heal. You need to be patient with yourself, let yourself be soft, and let yourself heal at your own pace.

Last thought: If healing takes a long time, it doesn't mean you failed.

It's important to know that if you think your healing is taking too long, it doesn't mean you're failing. It just means you're taking the time, space, and care you need to really heal.

It's not about "getting over it" as quickly as possible when you heal from narcissistic abuse. It's about getting back your life, your identity, and your peace of mind. And the fact that you are choosing to heal, love yourself, and listen to your own heart means that you are already on the road to real healing.

Don't forget that it's not your fault and you're not alone. Your healing is real, and every day you get closer to being a healthier, stronger version of yourself.