Blog Post

When you're trying to get over narcissistic abuse, it can feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster. This isn't just a metaphor; it's what survivors deal with every day. One minute you might feel like you have finally taken charge of your life. Then you feel guilty, confused, and alone all at the same time. This journey isn't easy, and it's important to remember that every time you feel bad emotionally, you're making progress in your healing, not going back.

Understanding the Emotional Whirlwind: Confusion and Fatigue

Why is it so hard to understand how to heal? When you have been abused by a narcissist, your view of reality is often off. You spent so much time trying to figure out why the abuser did what they did that it's hard to believe what you feel and think. You might be wondering if you're overreacting or if you're just making things up. This confusion is a direct result of the manipulation you've been through.

As the journey goes on, the tiredness from years of emotional stress doesn't go away right away. Even after you leave the abusive relationship, you might still feel tired and worn out both physically and mentally. It takes time to heal, and being tired can feel like it will never end. Sometimes you might not even have the energy to get out of bed.

And then there's being alone. You might feel like no one really understands what you're going through, even when you're with friends and family who care about you. It's hard to put into words, but narcissistic abuse makes you feel a certain way of being alone. But you're not the only one who feels this way. That feeling of being alone will also go away with time and help.

The Illusion of Brokenness: The Abuse Does Not Define You

It's easy to think that you're broken, flawed, or not good enough after being abused by a narcissist. You don't act this way because of what you think. Narcissistic abusers want you to question your own value by making you feel bad about yourself. It's not your fault that they are emotionally hurt; it's because they need to be in charge.

You are not broken; you are getting better. Your scars will go away, and they show how strong you are. You need to get back in touch with the person you were before the abuse started in order to heal. And that person is still there, waiting to come out strong and whole.

The Hard Truths: Why Healing Is So Hard

A lot of people don't know how hard it is to get over narcissistic abuse because emotional wounds don't heal on a set schedule. You don't just wake up one day and feel "better." Survivors often feel guilty, doubt themselves, numb their emotions, and feel overwhelmed during recovery.

You might still doubt yourself even when you make the right choices. You may have learnt to doubt every choice you make because of narcissistic abuse, which can make it hard to trust your own judgement again.

You can feel guilty even when you put yourself first. Narcissists are very good at making their victims feel guilty for what they do, and it takes work to get rid of that guilt.

A lot of survivors also use emotional numbness to keep themselves safe. If you feel like you can't really connect with your feelings, that's okay. That's just how your mind keeps itself safe.

You might feel overwhelmed when you have memories or feelings that you aren't ready to deal with. There may be days when your feelings seem too strong for you to handle.

This doesn't mean you're weak; it just means that your body and mind are starting to heal.

There is no set time frame for when you can heal.

Remember this from your trip: Healing is not a race. People in our world tell us to get back on track quickly and be "better" as soon as we can. But the truth is that getting better isn't a race. It happens at its own pace and is very private.

Some days, healing will feel like a big step forward, and other days, you just need to relax and take care of yourself. You need both of these times to get better. Rest and progress are both important for getting better.

Don't rush things or feel bad about needing time. Some days you might feel like you're not getting anywhere, but you are, even if it's slow. Have faith that the trip will go as planned.

How to Use Kind Help to Build Trust and Safety Again

Being around kind people who care about you is one of the best things you can do for yourself. When a narcissist hurts you, you learn to hide your feelings and needs. So, one way to get better is to learn how to be kind, patient, and caring with yourself again.

You can rebuild your trust in yourself by saying small, regular affirmations that remind you of your value and strength.

Setting up a safe space for people to feel safe emotionally means